Asking for a friend
Photo: Tennis court with sunlight streaming through trees in background by Angela Bailey on Unsplash.
by Kat Valdez/Diverse Fort Collins
On a sunny afternoon a couple of months ago, I arrived early to tennis class and waited for the other class to finish.
One of the coaches came over to me with a smile, introduced herself, and proceeded to praise the skills and performance of one student. Apparently, Billie* was a superstar that day.
Why is she telling me this?
Oh. She thinks I’m the girl’s mother.
I looked at her quizzically, with a polite smile: “I don’t know who Billie is.”
I don’t know who Billie is but I’m glad she did well in class!
The coach, a young white woman, paused in surprise, then had the decency to be embarrassed: “Oh, I’m sorry!”
I wanted to say, “I know there aren’t many Asian Americans in Fort Collins and we all look alike to you. But she and I are not even the same kind of Asian.”
My mom is from the Philippines; Billie doesn’t look like me. At all.
I’m guessing Billie’s mother or guardian was the lady sitting waaaaay over at the end of the seating area, chatting with another parent. (Out of the coach’s line of sight.)
But I can’t assume that, otherwise I’m be engaging in the same unconscious bias as the coach.
Looks are deceiving. You can’t assume anything based on appearances.
Duh.
And yet. We all do it.
It’s like the opening scene in the Academy Award-nominated film Past Lives, written and directed by Celine Song, in which you hear a man and woman (presumably white) speculating about the three people across the bar: Who are they to each other? Are the Asian man and Asian woman a couple? Is the white man their friend?
Spoiler alert: They’re wrong.
I mentioned this tennis class incident to a new acquaintance who moved to Fort Collins several years ago from a diverse, metropolitan city in another state. Her parents are immigrants from India; she and her children were born in the U.S.
“The same thing happened to me!” she said. At her kids’ school.
We discussed identity and first generation and second generation Americans, then exchanged phone numbers with the intention to meet for coffee in the new year.
Nothing like a little structural racism to bring people together.
Have you ever witnessed or participated in this kind of conversation that ended up being a case of mistaken identity?
Did you shrug it off, not giving it a second thought? Or did you examine why it happened? Did you research unconscious bias and microaggressions?
Why or why not?
Discuss amongst yourselves. That’s your homework for the month.
(*Name changed to protect privacy.)
Bonus points for extra credit homework: Read Throwback by Maureen Goo, which offers myriad examples of the “colorblind” racism and casual racism in the 1990s that some of us grew up with.
It shows readers how far we’ve come. And how far we have yet to go.
From the publisher: Back to the Future meets Joy Luck Club in this fresh, funny novel about a Gen Z Korean American girl who gets stuck in the 90s with her teenaged mother, perfect for fans of Mary H.K. Choi, Morgan Matson, and Nicola Yoon.
“No one can blend family, humor, satire, and love into a single perfect story like Maureen Goo can.” —Marie Lu, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Skyhunter
Happy new year! Interested in community events this month? You’ve come to the right place.
Here are a few inclusive events to kick off 2026, plus a list of community calendars to check out.
January 2026 Community Events
January, The Gardens on Spring Creek, Butterfly House, Children’s Garden and more, open daily 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., closed Thursdays.
January, The Lyric Cinema Cafe, movies, art, and community events such as open mic, trivia, storytelling, karaoke, and more.
January, Poudre Libraries, various events for adults, teens and children throughout the month
Jan. 2 “Coyote Pretty” Sapphic Show, R Bar Fort Collins, 9 p.m. $15, and various events throughout the month.
Jan. 2-30 Fort Collins Museum of Discovery events and films in the Otterbox Digital Dome Theater.
Jan. 2 First Friday Art Walk, Downtown Fort Collins, Free
Jan. 2 First Friday at the Publick House, Wolverine Farm, Free, plus various events throughout the month.
Through Jan. 4 Indigenous Voices: A Contemporary Art Exhibition, Museum of Art Fort Collins, see ticket prices on the website including free admission for: 18 and under, SNAP recipients with SNAP card, CSU students with ID, military veterans with ID, 50 percent discount for educators with ID, etc.
Jan. 4 Liberation Is Local, facilitated by Dr. Cori Wong, weekly on Sundays. Donations welcome. Free
Jan. 6-8 Registration opens for City of Fort Collins Recreation programs and classes
Jan. 9 – Feb. 27 The Lincoln Center Art Gallery’s new exhibit Kristy Deetz: Disrupted Gardens features a series of large-scale, hyper-realistic acrylic paintings that imagine a future where nature and artificial intelligence respond to pollution and climate change by reshaping the Earth (our “Garden”) and populating it with new, often evolving creatures.
Jan. 15 & 16 Artist’s Visit, including Live Sculpting, Reception and Artist Talk
The Lincoln Center, 417 W. Magnolia St., Fort Collins, CO 80521
The Art Gallery Hours: Wednesday and Friday, 1–6 pm and before most performances, Free
Kristy will be visiting from Green Bay, Wisconsin. She will sculpt in the Art Gallery, demonstrating how she creates her Specimens, from 1 to 6 pm, Thursday, Jan. 15, and from 3 to 5 pm, Friday, Jan. 16. The sculptures she creates will remain on view for the duration of the exhibit. To end the day on Jan. 16, the Art Gallery will host an Artist Talk at 5:30 pm and celebrate Kristy’s visit with an Artist’s Reception at 6:30 pm.
Through Jan. 17 Paths Adjacent: Dark Noodle Art and CC Stanhill. Closing reception and artists’ talk on Jan. 17, 6 to 9 p.m., open to the public, Free
Taryn Bushey (she/her) is the creator behind Dark Noodle Art. Taryn is a self-taught artist specializing in abstract and modern line art.
CC Stanhill (they/them) is an illustrator, animator, and inveterate punslinger living in Fort Collins. Their work explores queer themes of fluidity, freedom and connection; but mostly it’s about being colossally capricious. They were once described by a prominent person as “quite a lucid sort of fellow.”
Jan. 28 through April 12 Revisited: Andy Warhol’s Social Media and Andy Warhol at Colorado State University, Gregory Allicar Museum of Art, University Center for the Arts. Free
City of Fort Collins Natural Areas: more than 50 conserved natural areas and more than 100 miles of trails
City of Fort Collins Parks: more than 966 acres of developed parks
“You know, everything old can be made new again. Like democracy.”
– Effie Trinket, Mockingjay Part I

Feb 11 is the last day to register as a Democrat if you want to attend caucuses.
Read more at Larimer County Democrats.

Kat Valdez/Diverse Fort Collins
Event Calendars
https://www.rbarfc.com/
https://oldfirehousebooks.com/events/calendar/2025
https://artmuseum.colostate.edu/programs/
https://moafc.org/moafc-events/
https://www.lyriccinema.com/upcoming
https://bandwagmag.com/
https://downtownfortcollins.com/
https://focoma.org/directory/media-resources
https://www.fortcollins.gov/Events/Event-Calendar
https://www.larimer.gov/events
https://www.visitftcollins.com/
https://www.wolverinefarm.org/events/
https://poudrelibraries.librarycalendar.com/events/month

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